Buenas vibraciones (WARNING: ADULT CONTENT)

Ellas también quieren jugar.

So trumpets the headline in one of the articles in this week's Sunday magazine of El País, and who am I to argue? The "ellas" in question appears to refer to eSpanish mujeres in general, the majority of whom, según el artículo, appear to thirst lasciviously for a far greater degree of sensual and sexual stimulation than is currently being provided by their good-for-nothing partners. As a result, it is not uncommon to turn to more prosthetic aids to pleasure, such as the following:

Buenas vibraciones con el 'patito-vibrador'

From the same article:

Esposas y esposas

The word "esposas" in eSpanish means both "spouses" and "handcuffs", a fact which you are free to interpret as you see fit. Personally, even as a card-carrying homosexual (not true, actually, I may have left my card at home in San Francisco), the photograph above gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Then there was this:

For which the caption in "El País" read: "Bolas chinas para ejercitar la pelvis. 'Dildos'. Geles para sensibilizar el clítoris ...... las mujeres quieren que despierten sus zonas dormidas".

Now, please don't get me wrong. I just love it when "El País" talks dirty. And how could I not appreciate that finely placed "despierten", as perfect an example of the subjunctive used to express a wish or desire as one could ever, well, wish or desire. But am I the only one who finds it vexing that "clítoris" en español is a masculine noun?

Of course, the real challenge in all of this will be to figure out how to work the phrase "patito-vibrador" (duck-vibrator) into my oral examination later this week.