It was a dark and stormy night

Previously on this blog, we had cause to mention Edward Bulwer-Lytton, and his eponymous contest, to find the worst opening sentence for an (imaginary) novel.

Well, this year's contest results are now available:

http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2007.htm

My personal favorite is the winning sentence from the adventure category for this year, reproduced below in its full glory:

As the hippo's jaws clamped on Henry's body he noted the four huge teeth badly in need of a clean, preferably with one of those electric sonic toothbrushes, and he reflected that his name would be immortalized by his unusual death, since hippo killings are not a daily occurrence, at least not in the high street of Chipping Sodbury.

Tim Lafferty
Horsell, Woking, UK

But there are many more, equally hilarious, entries at the link given above. Check it out!

OK, maybe just one more, from the children's section:

Mary had a little lamb; its fleece was Polartec 200 (thanks to gene splicing, a diet of force-fed petrochemical supplements, and regular dips in an advanced surface fusion polymer), which had the fortunate side effect of rendering it inedible, unlike that other Mary's organic lamb which misbehaved at school and wound up in a lovely Moroccan stew with dried apricots and couscous.


Julie JensenLodi, CA .


There's just so much raw talent out there. It makes a person think.