Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Unto us a child is born

An update from the throne of the Bourbon-Hapsburg-Battenberg-Hohenzollern-Tiramisu-Hasenpfeffer-Sachse-Gothenburg-Windsor-Thurn-Taxis dynasty:

El Príncipe and his non-aristocratic wife had another Infanta on Sunday. Se llama Sofía como su abuela, and she is third in succession to the throne, after el Príncipe and her sister, Leonor (pending some boring changes in Spanish law which will give equal rights to male and female heirs in the line of succession; too late to benefit el Príncipe's older sisters, but I'm sure they're not bitter in the least). The Infanta was delivered by Caesarean section on Sunday at 16:50, and weighed 3.31kg, measuring 50 cm. Don Felipe informed the queen by radio, as she was returning from the Rostropovitch funeral in Moscow, that her 8th grandchild would bear her name.

This touching picture is that of older sister Leonor, about to visit the new arrival. Rumors that the older sister's first words to her sibling included the phrase "neener-neener" remain unconfirmed, according to a palace insider.

Members of the Battenberg branch of the royal family are said to be literally pink with fury, maintaining that they are being short-changed in the proposed new succession rules. A palace insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that, in view of their somewhat checkered past, it is unlikely that a Battenberg will ever again mount the Bourbon throne.

The Hasenpfeffer family could not be reached for comment.

The plain people of Ireland: Are you gone daft altogether? This is surrealist rubbish, and not even funny at that! Any more of this, and steps will have to be taken.

The management: Do you mind? I spent the afternoon at the Reina Sofia museum, much of it spent in mature contemplation of the works of Dali. Is it any wonder if a little surrealism creeps in occasionally? We sensitive souls are very suggestible you know. The lush zebra imbrocates aubergine schoolbuses with zabaglione.

The plain people of Ireland: Dali, is it? Oh fair enough so. Sure that's understandable. Let us know when you're feeling yourself again.

The management: The narpish fleens gongoozle sybaritic nightshirts.

1 comment:

O'Donovan said...

Dear Plain People of Ireland:

My passion for you continues unabated.

Sincerely yours, etc.