Saturday, May 26, 2007

Limericks : The Iberian Cycle ( Part II)

[Warning: gentle reader, if you do not know what a "strap-on" is, please don't look it up. Preserve your charming innocence yet a while longer. The rest of you guttermouths should be right at home. Some white-fonting is used to protect the PG13 nature of this blog. To elude the white-font censors, drag your mouse over the area in question while holding down the left button.]

In my nightmares, at times, there's Anne Coulter
Wearing latex, a strap-on, a halter
In this curious dress
In frenzied congress
With the monkeys who live on Gibraltar

A prostitute down in Valencia
Was an extremely popular wench-ia*
She'd a coño so tight
That to get it in right
Took a half-quart of oil and a wrench-ia*

A busy court judge down in Avila
Any tough legal knot could unravel - ah!*
In chambers at leisure
She'd find new roads to pleasure
With just EVOO and a gavel - ah!*

In the gay bar in old Aranjuez
Every morning the floors are a mess
What happens at night
When they turn down the light
I just cannot hazard a guess

To construct a limerick in Basque
Would be a formidable task.
¿What's Euskera for "boner"?
¿"Cojones" or "coño"?*
¡Ninguna idea - don't ask!

*: poetic licence

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