Friday, August 31, 2007

More regrettable doggerel

This one definitely is inspired by current events:

The train station john's kind of icky
But convenient if you want a quicky
You can go just to cottage
Or engage in some frottage
Though the floors are deplorably sticky.

This one too:

Ode to a recently departed royal couple


Knight errant of the football field
Of course I mean you, David Beckham
Your twinkle toes like weapons you wield
But your knees, it's like you're trying to wreck 'em.


The City of Angels welcomes you with open arms
And your lovely wife too, Victoria "Posh" Spice
And I'm sure everyone hopes you can keep out of harm's
Way. And your glamorous consort too because she seems so very nice.


And though it's true that when you left Spain, no tears were shed in Madrid.
Nor, for that matter, was there any evidence of rampant grief in the streets of Valladolid.
I'm sure that, although people in Spain thought your wife was a bitch,
That you will show them what they missed when and if you finally manage to strut your stuff on the soccer pitch.






The plain people of Ireland: Oh 'tis limericks you want, is it? Here's a nice clean one for you:

When I think of the hosts without no.
Who are slain by the deadly cuco.
'Tis quite a mistake
Of this food to partake
It results in a permanent slo.

6 comments:

Sherri said...

i'm betting on

number
cucumber
slumber

But then, what do I know?

gaelstat said...

You're absolutely right, though there was a typo - it should read "cuco.", rather than "co".

Sherri said...

I pondered that.

I'm pretty good on the "finish the limerick" puzzles on "Wait, Wait! Don't Tell Me".

gaelstat said...

Speaking of word puzzles and radio programs, I'm still miffed that my entry to one of the Sunday morning public radio puzzles didn't win. The challenge was to ask a question and provide an answer, both ending in some famous persons name.

Why was Michelle Shocked?
Because she saw Gumby giving Mr Potatohead.

On second thoughts, I have to admit that I can understand why they didn't want to read that one on the air.

Anonymous said...

The plain people of Ireland: Here, that Beckham poem is kind of McGonagall-esque in its sheer awfulness.

gaelstat said...

Thank you, I'm glad somebody else thinks so. I worked hard on making it as bad as I could, you know.