The Dangers of Lox

Warning: this post contains juvenile humor. Expectant mothers might possibly find it offensive. Or they might find it hilarious - que se yo?

One of the great things about frittering away hours on assorted time-wasting sites on the internet is the way that one hilarious time-wasting site often leads to another, with even greater potential for hilarity and time wastage. This is the process that led me to the often side-splittingly funny "Let's Panic about Babies" website, which I recommend unreservedly, if only for the following table of:

substances to avoid during pregnancy

Warning, link may not be entirely safe for work, as it may cause you to cackle uncontrollably at your desk, and has no obvious redeeming social value. But then, redeeming social value is grossly overrated, and where else are you going to learn about the

DANGERS OF LOX

Contains: Jewishness, Scandianavianness, that bloated brunchy weekend feeling
Effect on Fetus: Baby will be born covered in capers; cats will follow Baby everywhere; your house will be plagued by reindeer

The site has much, much more to offer -

baby panic

Possibly my other favorite item on the site is the picture ad that plaintively asks:

"Infant stressing you out?"
1-800-DINGOES
"One call is all it takes!"